Monday, December 26, 2011
she ran. he sprinted.
she attempted to sprint. he paused.
she paused to catch her breath. he took out his hand wanting to touch her.
she stepped back. Not only hesitant, but cautiously thinking.
what’s what, now.. and what’s later?
cycle of uncertainty.
when is the right time to hop two steps forwards and when to take a step backward?
when can we skip all these ‘games’ and move right ahead?
initially played to anticipate future excitement and tinglings.
but when its getting a lil too old, the long and clear lane got foggy.
it’s still long, but nowhere clear.
you don’t need no water to be sucked in and engage in them fishing rules.
it's getting pretty tiring, these baiting - fishing - pausing - striking - merging (or, diminishing) cycle going on a loop.
sometimes, when it gets too tiring, one packs her soul, her heart and distorted brain back to where she was.
and where she’d better be. =)
Sunday, December 25, 2011
This has been going on for years. No numbers exchanged. Coincidental meetings and making plans for future dinners happen right there. In front of the lift.
One might blurt : “Jangan dibuat ribet kalo mau ketemuan doang mah. Minta contact details atau unit number apartemen nya dong.”
The element of pleasant surprise. Aren't most of us have tendencies looking forward to it. Embrace the spontaneity or hell, create it!...And ruining it?
This is blind dating two point o.
Bukan partner date nya yang buta. Tanggalnya. :D
Saturday, December 10, 2011
I want you to want it the way I’ve been wanting.
I want one plus one to be one of a kind. I one you & you one me.
I want the world spins with sheepish giggles, looking at us.
I want it all and all means you.
I want the hazy road to clear up and go easy with bumps to close with a We.
I want us to remain being critical beings and question the necessary and yet, never question us once you and me have become, US.
I want the wanting to become primal needing. The want one can’t lives without.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
do i judge? yes, i still do! sometimes in silence. sometimes i blurt it out loud with personal preference of words to clearly indicate. i believe in diversity and the idea of mutual respect to discuss an issue. with different opinions. exchanging *ideas*. not dissing.
Lets get specific with an illustration. Such as: photography. each person has their own ways of viewing something and capture it with different angles so, just because one person states ‘your pictures are less than mediocre”, don’t be offended. many might think the otherwise. :)
now, i’m going to judge. whoever compares and feels their achievement[s] are better than the others? well. lemme ask you. define priorities. are you going to say that your priorities and everyone else you know are the same? are you that certain? gimme a valid reason why.
there are many reasons why quotes like ‘beauty is in the eyes of the beholder’ & ‘everybody has got different somethingsomething-oriented goals’ EXIST.
people talk. people share. people get too engrossed sticking to their opinions, they forget to check dictionary for ‘mindset’. For ‘past’.
Some think those who blurted ‘try walking a mile in my shoes.’ are being defensive. well, read thoroughly. some might be Unjustified alibis. While some are merely stating: “Don’t point fingers because God and the universe don’t even do that. we don’t have THE exact life-lanes.”
when i share or confide in someone, its becoming habitual to end with ‘please stay objective despite my subjective blurting.’
the ugliest truth? many times, i do not just DISagree w/ a statement. i might despise your point of view[s]. [yes, for certain extreme cases]. But, hey! Its your life. Its your thoughts. Its your way of responding to some issues. I might hate your words but i respect you spilling it.
One might call it bi-polar diversity understanding. others might call it realism.
an example: i believe in self mockery. as opposed to insensitive slapstick jokes. i apply that differently. self mockery? i don't mind ppl laugh at me or with me. as long as i ain’t offended.
slapstick jokes? i do that to some people. When what’s supposedly no biggie to my brain equalize to something insensitive to you, i shall apologize. For i wasn’t being sensitive or familiar enough to decipher and get to know your idea of what’s acceptable or not.
yknow what’s the hardest way to say a sorry? a simple sorry sans blablablabla.
one’s brain: “oh, i shall say sorry. but i have got valid reasonings of why i was doing it. lemme justify with my theories.”
again, the theory of diversity barges in. what seems like CONCRETE justifications to a person, it’s given the verdict of: BULLSHIT by other people. the hardest part of saying sorry for myself is to REFRAIN the mouth or the fingers to type more than a simple, direct ‘i am truly sorry.’
now, different scenario. ‘getting defensive and bringing in weak argument points’ to justify? imma judge again and say its not worth my time. when i think its not worth my time…
sadeethya: Being judgmental is never a good habit, but admit it sometimes we stereotype people, consciously or unconsciously.
inestjokro: So long as you still have an explanation to each “why so?” question, you’ll be ok.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Ignorance is beyond (mere)bliss. It doesn't lure one to open eyes wider; only to view scattered puzzles.
I'd want to be indifferent but failing Emotional Detachment course umpteen times is clearly printed on the transcript.
My life's transcript.
Ultimately, it's best if I know none.
Being oblivious is crucial here to maintain rational head, free from clouded mind bubbles.
I have yet to deal with all boxes inside my closet, let alone to be involuntary spectator of others' excess baggages. Messy and bursting.
Serenity is: eyes wide shut. Brain cells loosening up. Heart listening to all sorta noises yet not the least bugged.Let's stop solving and connecting. Let's start living, through looking and walking on.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
If there’s no regret, there won’t be introspection and reflection and the phrase ‘strive to improve’ will be overrated in general.
If there’s no future, there won’t be wishes and hopes and faith to keep going; for beautiful/better tomorrow(s).
If there’s no conflict, there won’t be life’s lessons & mandatory struggles & victorious smiles to end+make peace with one’s battles.
If there’s no me *plus* a you, there won’t be us BUT there will always still be Me. You. :)
Its not about them. Its about him/her telling his/her side of the story about him/her & him/her.
Its not about them. Its about that certain part(s) of the world watching and then concluding stories about them.
Its not about them. Its me telling you its not about them and makes you think it might after-all; is about them.
She was blowing and inhaling and watching the sky scrapers. He was somewhere inside. Inside one of them (still)unknown doors.
She was inside. Reading/writing and half-listening to the sound of the silent corridor. The telly is on again. She wondered if its the same He.
He coughed once and She ...
There’s that lane. Advance route for labyrinth experts. You cry. You scream. You blush. You giggle. You bask in the silence of one final road.
There’s that pace. You accelerate. Others speed up to keep up w/ the speed. You halt. You observe. You decelerate with bold freeze, smiling.
There’s the mingle-r. You move around. They assume you flirt. You couldn’t care less. You interact. You lock & you move forward with a grin.
There are the special-s. They demand zero attention. Stick to their ways of doing things. Stand out without having to. Ultimate effortless.
There’s karma. You believe it. Some don’t. Nobody’s proving what’s what or the otherwise. Retribution happens. Everybody introspect.again.
Friday, March 4, 2011
by jaded labyrinth, i meant multi lanes & channels of the unknowns. accompanied by diff states of confusion and breakdowns.
then... you, me, him, her and us gonna snap out of it. and looking back to retell the tale. to the right ppl. right timing. with a smile.
real, unmasked smile that's not gonna trigger mellow memoirs to revive. for they are mere tales thats not worth re-pondering about. anymore.
NOW. cry if you must. scream if you wanna.
THEN... smile. :)
Moving on isn't about never looking back, it's about taking a glance at the past and seeing how much you've grown since then. (via @epiclifequotes )
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Travel to me.
Crack my head open.
Can you see the layers and hues representing different aspects of bittersweet life?
You don’t have to taste it. Or try to understand it. Just hold me close when I have to walk through that colorful labyrinth.
Pull me. Hold these fingers. Don’t let go until I blurt ‘the rollercoaster is over.’
Then… let’s synchronize the victorious smiles.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
di kala kamu menyapa.
sewaktu aku membalas, diam diam tersipu.
di kala kamu bertanya.
sewaktu aku memilah dan membuat teori bisu.
di kala semua tersenyum.
meresapi yang tertulis. merasakan yang tidak terlalu jelas terungkap.
adalah satu aliran air.
bukan air pancuran. bukan juga ombak.
hanya suatu air yang tenang dekat sebuah sungai.
saat senja datang dan siluet siluet menghampiri.
siluet awan, lampu jalan dan gedung gedung.
siluet saksi yang tiada akan pernah berkata.
siluet yang terus mencoba berdiri kokoh dan berharap untuk saling menyambut.
one evening, our eyes will meet and we’ll watch all kinds of silhouettes. together.
Friday, January 28, 2011
am not denying the pleasure of bitter black caffeine. too bad, tummy protests. so yea, adding sweetener to the chosen bitterness, i gotta do.
same goes in real life, no? the bitter symphonies. we like some, we ditch some. at times, the preferred bitter vibe demands sweet inputs.
realistic cycle. am i right or am i right?
if you were to believe in happily ever after tales with zero insertion of sweetened essence[s]?
well, try smelling.the.real.world.
if you were to believe that everything is nothing but BITTER taste here and there, take a break and chill for a bit. isolate yourself and self-reflect on what’s going on. isolate yourself for constructive self-improvement outcome[s]
for those who have just experienced ‘recent exposure of bittersweet world?’
little bitterness + adequate sweetener = hello, optimistic tendency whilst accepting the bitterness as it is.
extreme bitterness + less than moderately amount of sweetener = a challenging era to test one’s patience + THE chance to learn to be stronger + to survive that true definition of REAL world.
i wish ‘you, you and you’ not just luck but the determination to: stick with persistence and keeping optimism in between cynical thoughts when the world crumbles.
let’s be survivor[s].
physically. mentally. spiritually.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Writer Amy Chua shocked the world with her provocative essay, “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior,” when it appeared in the Wall Street Journal earlier this month.
The article, excerpted from her new book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” described “how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids.” It led with a manifesto: “Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do: attend a sleepover; have a playdate; be in a school play; complain about not being in a school play; watch TV or play computer games; choose their own extracurricular activities; get any grade less than an A; not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama; play any instrument other than the piano or violin; not play the piano or violin.”
While Chua says she has received death threats for her comments (one critic called her the “worst mother ever”), the question remains: What do her own children think? Now Chua’s eldest daughter, Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld, 18, tells her side of the story exclusively to The Post . . .
Dear Tiger Mom,
You’ve been criticized a lot since you published your memoir, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.” One problem is that some people don’t get your humor. They think you’re serious about all this, and they assume Lulu and I are oppressed by our evil mother. That is so not true. Every other Thursday, you take off our chains and let us play math games in the basement.
But for real, it’s not their fault. No outsider can know what our family is really like. They don’t hear us cracking up over each other’s jokes. They don’t see us eating our hamburgers with fried rice. They don’t know how much fun we have when the six of us — dogs included — squeeze into one bed and argue about what movies to download from Netflix.
I admit it: Having you as a mother was no tea party. There were some play dates I wish I’d gone to and some piano camps I wish I’d skipped. But now that I’m 18 and about to leave the tiger den, I’m glad you and Daddy raised me the way you did. Here’s why.
A lot of people have accused you of producing robot kids who can’t think for themselves. Well, that’s funny, because I think those people are . . . oh well, it doesn’t matter. At any rate, I was thinking about this, and I came to the opposite conclusion: I think your strict parenting forced me to be more independent. Early on, I decided to be an easy child to raise. Maybe I got it from Daddy — he taught me not to care what people think and to make my own choices — but I also decided to be who I want to be. I didn’t rebel, but I didn’t suffer all the slings and arrows of a Tiger Mom, either. I pretty much do my own thing these days — like building greenhouses downtown, blasting Daft Punk in the car with Lulu and forcing my boyfriend to watch “Lord of the Rings” with me over and over — as long as I get my piano done first.
Everybody’s talking about the birthday cards we once made for you, which you rejected because they weren’t good enough. Funny how some people are convinced that Lulu and I are scarred for life. Maybe if I had poured my heart into it, I would have been upset. But let’s face it: The card was feeble, and I was busted. It took me 30 seconds; I didn’t even sharpen the pencil. That’s why, when you rejected it, I didn’t feel you were rejecting me. If I actually tried my best at something, you’d never throw it back in my face.
I remember walking on stage for a piano competition. I was so nervous, and you whispered, “Soso, you worked as hard as you could. It doesn’t matter how you do.”
Everybody seems to think art is spontaneous. But Tiger Mom, you taught me that even creativity takes effort. I guess I was a little different from other kids in grade school, but who says that’s a bad thing? Maybe I was just lucky to have nice friends. They used to put notes in my backpack that said “Good luck at the competition tomorrow! You’ll be great!” They came to my piano recitals — mostly for the dumplings you made afterward — and I started crying when I heard them yelling “bravo!” at Carnegie Hall.
When I got to high school, you realized it was time to let me grow up a little. All the girls started wearing makeup in ninth grade. I walked to CVS to buy some and taught myself how to use it. It wasn’t a big deal. You were surprised when I came down to dinner wearing eyeliner, but you didn’t mind. You let me have that rite of passage.
Another criticism I keep hearing is that you’re somehow promoting tunnel vision, but you and Daddy taught me to pursue knowledge for its own sake. In junior year, I signed myself up for a military-history elective (yes, you let me take lots of classes besides math and physics). One of our assignments was to interview someone who had experienced war. I knew I could get a good grade interviewing my grandparents, whose childhood stories about World War II I’d heard a thousand times. I mentioned it to you, and you said, “Sophia, this is an opportunity to learn something new. You’re taking the easy way out.” You were right, Tiger Mom. In the end, I interviewed a terrifying Israeli paratrooper whose story changed my outlook on life. I owe that experience to you.
There’s one more thing: I think the desire to live a meaningful life is universal. To some people, it’s working toward a goal. To others, it’s enjoying every minute of every day. So what does it really mean to live life to the fullest? Maybe striving to win a Nobel Prize and going skydiving are just two sides of the same coin. To me, it’s not about achievement or self-gratification. It’s about knowing that you’ve pushed yourself, body and mind, to the limits of your own potential. You feel it when you’re sprinting, and when the piano piece you’ve practiced for hours finally comes to life beneath your fingertips. You feel it when you encounter a life-changing idea, and when you do something on your own that you never thought you could. If I died tomorrow, I would die feeling I’ve lived my whole life at 110 percent.
And for that, Tiger Mom, thank you.
Amy Chua's Why Chinese Mothers are superior? <-- click to view
Monday, January 24, 2011
tidak berhenti hanya pada pernyataan
tidak cukup hanya cinta
tidak mengutuk saat air mata mengalir
tidak gelap otak, mata dan hati saat diri kecewa
tidak mengakhiri kala badai menerpa
tidak melepas tangan saat segala terjadi
tidak menyesal saat romansa rollercoaster ride mendominasi
tidak gampang untuk mengatakan tidak,
karena cinta bukan untuk di pilih pilah.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
kamu masih ingat saya, saya tidak perlu bertanya untuk tahu soal itu.
ip-tracking widget memberi lebih dari cukup informasi.
apa kabarnya kamu?
apakah kamu masih menelusuri segala penjuru angin untuk mencari?
mencari yang cocok, atau paling cocok?
tiada yang yakin.
baik saya. maupun kamu sang penelusur yang tidak berhenti melalang sana sini.
jika kamu bertanya pada dirimu sendiri, di suatu siang atau malam yang kelam, “kapan pencarian akan berakhir? kapan kata ‘berlabuh’ akan mencapit suatu yang bermakna?”
jujur, saya sendiri juga bertanya. bukan bertanya pada dirimu.
saya juga bertanya pada diri sendiri.
setiap orang boleh memiliki persepsi dan definisi yang mirip walau tidak sama persis.
dan setiap orang belum tentu mengalami atau mendapatkan ‘tempat berlabuh’ yang sama.
saya hanya bisa berharap…
baik saya, dan kamu, akan menemukan tempat itu.
tempat yang penuh makna. yang mampu mengubah kita berdua.
apakah saya dan kamu akan berlabuh di lokasi yang sama? menemukan oasis dan bersatu?
mari kita tidak berharap.
mari kita saling berharap untuk menemukan oasis masing-masing.
saling tertarik tidak harus selalu bersatu, bukan?
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Basking in the beauty of rainbow doesn’t mean you gotta view one with them eyes literally. Its all in the head.
List out [ME]rah [JI]ngga [KU]ning [HI]jau [BI]ru [NI]la [U]ngu. Fill in each of them hues. When they’re complete, compile them! You’ll be amused.
7 different colors. not all will be filled with happy inputs. uh huh.
but, to state EVERYTHING positively when the real world is bitter and sweet collaborating is nothing but delusional denial. :p
i do believe if we hold on to the optimistist side while doesn’t deny the seasonal yucky and sour ‘happenings’, everything will still be a PLUS in the end.
outta seven hues, 4 PLUS feat 3 MINUS still give us a PLUS result, right?
Determine to REAL -ize it, is another.
Let’s term your passion ‘P’ and determination ‘D’.
Now, throw in “CURRENT”:
1) O - obligation (work, family, study, life in general).
2) F - financial support/ funding.
3) T - free time slot in between life’s routine
P + D - O - F - T = ??
Wait a minute…
Determination should consist of many factors, including O, F and T; no? :)
P + D - O - F - T
= P + ( O + F + T ) - O - F - T
Its back to square singular Passion. Boo.
Now, if only outta O, F and T, one factor could be classified as a plus. The F especially, A prominent factor.
Thing is, chasing after your passion and making it a huge existence in your life IS NOT RESTRAINED by time.
You could take a month.
Or 1 year.
Or 5 years.
The determination to keep them sparks alive during transition period and to stay in focus; it matters. much.
When the F has turned to a PLUS, what now? Your determination has caused you that sufficient-funding (be it parental subsidation, self-saved $ or joint-venture offer) to make the dream TRUE.
Would one have the T(ime) ? Or does one need to drop current O[bligations] to obtain plenty of T to move ahead?
Multi connected, no?
Don’t say, ‘when there’s a will, there’s a way’.
There’s only 24hours a day, many don’t even get sufficient rest, just because multi arrows obligation-points are what they’re facing on daily basis.
You know your passion & you have the fund to make it happen?
Determined to breakthrough with a solid decision. Yes, please.
Even if it means you gotta bid farewell with current Obligation & Time.
To be engaged with a new type of Obligation & Time.
So does miracle.
And scarce opportunities.
F.L.Y. and seize when you could.
Reaping sweet harvest, that’s definite.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
until it gets to me..
So i smile and i wince
overwhelmed by the light
the light that reveals many lanes.
just when i sit by the darkness, thinking of a way out.
i thank thee. :*
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Slaying them demons to pieces.
Not with piercing words.
Not with dirty, vulgar screams.
Slaying with soft, soft smiles.
Thousands of little curving lips.
Genuine delivery from the heart.
For at the end of each day…
The eager-wishful being is back on that hoping track.
To have one peaceful heart.
To be indifferent to vulganic abuse.
To strike with smiles.
To retain sanity with rational head.
To dismiss them mean, mean words as …
Harmless vocal pollution.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
13th of every month.
let's make a habit of compiling words i've written and shared on the timeline.
not to be repetitive.
only to retain their existencies. and as self reminders.
vylette's bits and pieces.
[give credits if you wanna copy]
Dependency. From the heart to the brain. Within one singular body. Wait, that's independency or in(ternal) dependency ? Choose. [vylette - Jan 18th ]
When it gets tricky. Push away them incoming yucky & stick to being quirky. Trivial peculiar humor to keep sanity & chain of staying lucky.
Rows of alphabetic cabaret. Not classified as some secret. Needs nothing but willingness to interpret.
Ah, the invisible global pressure. To obtain golden spot for the ‘treasure’. Can we stick to measure the leisure & end with simplified closure?
Active interactions with fellow mortals. And the space to choose. To provide answer, to stay or fly away OR… to offer different, different angles.
Bubbles of you. Floating all over; through them red blood vessels. From the top to the tip of the toes. Greeting with tingles. :))
Right asks Left to go right.
Left says: “I don’t always do it right but even when its not right, it feels more than [all]right!, Right.”
“if you can’t do right you can always do what’s left..” (track: No one loves me & neither do I - band: Them Crooked Vultures) | via randysalim
some ppl are born to be lovable. some are born to be a test for other humankinds. the resistancy test of holding *that* urge to slap hard.
Camouflaged sadness, happiness & some other emotions. How can one trust the giver when one can't trust his/her own judgment towards realism.
Rekindling what once happened would burn us two. Stop the attempted gestures, let's stay single and unburdened. Fullstop.
you think you love him/her. others think you love that implanted images/perceptions he/she hints ambiguously. there, i said it. ah, illusion
Hidup itu kaya rokok. Pahit dgn filter yg manis. Stlh dicerna dgn kesadaran penuh, sebagian tertelan&sebagian kluar bagai asap yg menghilang
Reluctancy is a thing I'd rather not practice. Better be sorry for thing you've said with zero-to-many regrets than things you never say.
in between revising DRAFT and SENDing, there's different states of minds of the giver and receiver.
never ever buy friendship w/ $$ or sugar-coated ass-licking compliments. sincere and objective solidarity on the go pls, woman.
i don't do bullshit but when you're blabbering with full bullshit, i dont mind getting dirty & find a bull's shit to throw it. in.your.face.
what doesn't traumatize you, makes you stronger. what doesn't offer you reality wakeup call, leaves you delusional with fairytales scenarios